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co-dependency Co-Dependency is defined as an over-reliance on something or someone else. Usually to meet an emotional need.

Everyone has unmet emotional needs. The unmet needs that are the roots of co-dependency usually stem from childhood. Even the most healthy family situation is not perfect. But usually, the more unhealthy the original family situation, the more unmet emotional needs.

The pain of the unmet emotional needs of childhood such as attention, understanding, acceptance, nurturing, loving touch, respect, healthy boundaries etc. do not necessarily evaporate with time. That is not how our systems work. They are typically stored in the subconsious waiting to be addressed. If not addressed in positive ways, these "love voids" can be powerful drivers of dysfunctional behavior.

This is where the co-dependency dynamic can begin. A person may choose to fill this love void with a substance, behavior or another person. This becomes the "drug" literally or figuratively of choice that feels like it meets the unmet need of childhood. However, It is only a temporary fix and must be used again and again to artificially fill the love void.

This dynamic can be one of the major driving factors behind alcoholism, drug abuse or any type of addictive behavior.

This becomes especially dynamic when the outside stimulus is not a substance or behavior, but another person. This imbalanced co-dependent relationship has been characterized as:
1. Abuser - 2. Abused
1. Perpetrator - 2. Victim
1. Helpless - 2. Savior
1. Controller - 2. Controlled
1. User - 2. Enabler

Person 1. gets their love void met in this relationship through person 2. tending do all their needs and wants, perhaps the way that Mom or Dad didn't do. Person 1. may manipulate and abuse Person 2 through anger, guilt, physical, emotional or mental abuse, sociopathic behavior, extreme self-centeredness, etc.

Person 2.'s dysfunction and co-dependency pattern is more subtle and less easy to recognize. They may seem reluctant and unhappy with with this situation, but deep down they are usually a willinenablingg participant. If they weren't willing on some level, they wouldn't have allowed themselves to be in this situation in the first place. They are also getting their unmet needs artificially met in this situation. When they succeed at pleasing person 1, it allows then to feel accepted, a sense of self-esteem or self-worth. They are driven to get this acceptance from a strong outside source because they probably didn't get that in childhood from their father and/or mother. So they accept an abusive situation because the pain of the love void feels worse.

This is not a healthy dynamic for either person. However, breaking this destructive pattern is usually more difficult then simply someone hearing: "you are an abuser" or "you are being abused".

For both parties involved, what is happening is an attempt by the subconscious mind to heal the wounds of childhood. But this situation only offers temporary symptom relief and does nothing for real healing. Continuing this pattern can also create additional wounds of abuse.

It can be difficult to address and heal from the emotional wounds of childhood because we don't always know exactly what they are. Our memory may be faulty. Or we don't even know that the situation we were in was dysfunctional because it's all we've ever known.

This is where applied kinesiology can help through BodyTalk. The emotional wounds of childhood can be identified, brought to the surface and addressed through muscle-checking the BodyTalk protocol. When this happens, the subconscious drivers of co-dependency are healed at the root of the problem and can go a long way to heal the co-dependent symptoms of the present.

This is a big issue and can take several sessions depending on the depths of the emotional wounds. The more sessions, the more co-dependent dynamics that can be addressed.

The ramifications of healing from some of these issues are enormous because co-dependency can effect so much of our behaviors and feelings about ourselves, our relationships and about life in general.

If you recognize yourself in any of the above dynamics and would like to get help, contact to set up and appointment below:


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